what happens now?
by hideref
Summary: chryed fluff


"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Christian hoped he didn't sound too pathetic, but he was getting the distinct impression Syed wanted him out and not for the reason he claimed.

"Oh pleeeaaase? Oh please Christian, you go, please?" Syed looked up at Christian sitting on the edge of their bed. "After all you are a personal trainer; you're so fit you can get there and back in no time….I'll time you if you want. I'll bet you a pound you can't get there and back within three minutes."

Christian looked at Syed as he sat in their bed, naked and dishevelled and gorgeous, batting his pleading, puppy dog eyes at him and trying not to smile. Christian laughed. "You don't believe in gambling and I am not a child!" Syed chuckled. "And I don't do anything for a pound!" Christian gave a sheepish smile. "But you know I can't resist you... Even if you are a filthy little layabout who never leaves his bed."

Syed smiled and leant over and kissed Christian softly. "Only with you babe, you bring it out of me." Their eyes locked, and Syed leant in again and pressed his warm lips to Christian's for a second time. Christian sighed. How was it possible that a simple little peck and a smile from Syed was enough to make his heart race and face flush? He got up quickly and started hunting for his clothes keeping his face turned away from Syed. He knew Syed loved him, but sometimes he felt just a bit embarrassed by how easily and quickly his body and heart responded to him. It made him feel vulnerable.

Once dressed, he grabbed his coat and wallet and headed for the door. "Back in two and a half!"

As he ran down the stairs and jogged to the Minute Mart, Christian breathed in deeply the wintry fresh air and tried to shake off the slight gloom that had settled over him. He lifted his face to the dark sky and felt the rain fall down onto him. Sy owed him for this! He should be wrapped up warm inside not braving the rain just for orange juice! But that wasn't the reason he was feeling a bit glum.

It was a rainy Sunday evening in February with no spring in sight and no snow to make the winter seem worthwhile. Just rain and work tomorrow. Maybe what he was feeling was just the end of the weekend blues. Neither he nor Syed had left the flat since Friday night. They had been working so hard recently they had hardly seen each other and all they had wanted to do this weekend was spend time together. They hadn't quite planned to stay in all weekend, but although they had managed to get dressed a couple of times and had even talked about going out they had only got as far as the door. Somehow seeing Syed in clothes just made Christian want to take them off him and before he knew it they were back in bed. Leaving the flat turned out to be impossible what with Syed being so irresistible. Christian had loved every minute of it.

He walked into the shop, flinching slightly at the harsh overhead strip lighting. He grabbed the orange juice, paid Patrick and got out as quickly as he could. He wondered if Syed was up to something. Why had he wanted him to go out so much? He must have drunk his own body weight in orange juice already this weekend; surely he could wait for more?

As he came out of the shop Christian tried to work out what was really troubling him. He and Syed had been together for seven months now. And they had been the best seven months of his life. He couldn't believe how happy he was. It had been blissful. That was the word that ran round his head, and best described the days and nights he had spent with Syed. Just complete and utter bliss. He was free to look at Syed, touch Syed, kiss Syed, sleep holding on to Syed and wake up next to Syed. His personal favourite was watching Sy stretch when he woke up. With his eyes closed he would push out his arms and arch his back and for a moment Christian could just stare knowing that when Syed stopped stretching he would get to wrap his arms around that beautiful warm body and kiss him. After everything they had been through, he still found it hard to believe he had got his happy ending and that it had turned out to be so, so happy.

And if he was honest, he thought as he got to his front door, that was the problem. He couldn't believe the happiness was going to continue. Just a look from Sy, just a touch and his heart raced and he felt happy and full to bursting with love. He wasn't used to feeling so much, having so much of his wellbeing dependent on one person, he felt scared and vulnerable. He knew Sy loved him, but did he really feel this overwhelming, heart stopping love that Christian felt? This love that burnt through him in response to practically everything Sy did?

And what happened now? He had no experience of long term relationships but it seemed unlikely they could stay this happy forever. Everything, even this wonderful weekend they had just shared, came to an end. It felt like the end of the school holidays with double maths on its way, and Christian knew this was the reason for the little knot of dread that had been growing at the pit of his stomach. After all, he had never met a totally, blissfully happy and in love eighty year old. Logically the love and lust and passion must lessen after a while. So that meant the only possible way from here, from this state of bliss, was down. And he knew, absolutely, that he would always and forever feel the same way about Sy. The only thing that could change would be Sy's feelings for him. Even if it happened over years, and even if they were happy loving years, he still felt sad at the thought. Hopefully Sy would still love him, but his heart would gradually go back to its usual pattern, no longer racing when Christian got home, noticing instead that he hadn't done the shopping as promised, or hadn't tidied the flat, or hadn't walked the damn dog. One day Sy would go to bed and would want to fall asleep rather than cling to Christian, make love to Christian and sleep with their faces just inches apart like he did now.

And Christian knew that this was just the normal progression of a relationship but it made him feel so vulnerable because he couldn't imagine he would ever see Syed and not feel his heart bursting.

He opened the door to the flat and there he was, sitting just where he had left him and looking absolutely gorgeous. "Hey you. I missed you!" Oh great Christian, he thought to himself, way to build up those defences. But Syed smiled at him, looking ridiculously pleased to see him given he had only gone to the shop. "I got you your dreaded orange juice. How you can drink so much of the stuff and still be desperate for more is beyond me."

"I'm insatiable when it comes to certain things."

"Hmm, yes come to think of it I have noticed that about you." said Christian sardonically. "Do you want some now?"

"Yes please, and then will you come and sit next to me. I have something to say, or rather, um, ask." Christian looked over at Syed as he took off his coat wondering what he could be meaning.

"You're not going to try and flatter me in to another trip out are you? Because if you are then the answer is no. I've been out into the big bad world and I can't face it again without you no matter how much you beg and plead." Christian filled a glass with orange juice and wandered over to the bed putting it on the shelf next to Syed. He pushed off his shoes and climbed in fully dressed and wrapped his arms around Sy. "So, what is it you want to ask?" he said as he kissed his forehead.

"Well," Syed picked up Christian's hand and started playing with his fingers. He seemed awkward and kept looking down at their entwined fingers not meeting Christian's curious eyes. Christian's heart missed a beat. Was something up? Was this it? Was this the beginning of the end? "I just wondered, and really its okay if you think it's a silly idea, its no big deal, and I won't mind at all if you say no, really I won't, so please, please just give me your honest opinion, and don't feel any pressure as I won't mind honestly, well I might be a bit upset but that will pass and we can carry on like before, and I know its probably not your scene, but I just can't not ask, as its burning away inside me and I love you so much and I can't bear the thought that this won't continue forever, so I was just wondering if," deep breath, "well, you know, if we could, well, um, get married?"

Syed was still staring at their hands, but when Christian said nothing his head dipped even lower and his hands stilled.

Christian just looked at the back of his dipped head. His heart beating.

Syed finally raised his eyes to Christian's, embarrassed, and then looked away again. "Look don't worry, I know it hasn't been very long, and I'm sure this isn't really your sort of thing, so really, forget I said anything. And anyway, my family would hate me even more and you probably wouldn't believe my vows given what happened to my last marriage, so don't worry, it was just a thought."

"That was burning away inside you?"

"Sorry?"

"A thought that was burning away inside you, you said."

"Oh yes, well, yes, but you don't have to worry about that, now I've asked and you've said no I'll be able to forget it. Really, as I said no pressure, its no big deal."

"But I haven't said no."

"You haven't?"

"No."

"Oh..."

"So, um, what do you think?"

"Sy, look at me," said Christian quietly. Syed dipped his head lower. "Sweetheart, look at me. Please?" Syed raised his eyes and met Christian's. He looked worried and shy and gorgeous and beautiful all at the same time. "Firstly, you should NEVER be embarrassed or shy of telling me how you feel and you should always tell me if something is burning away inside you. I want to know! Secondly, don't EVER think I would doubt your word because of what happened in the past. I know you and I trust you and I love you. And thirdly, this IS a big deal and it will never end and it WILL continue forever and ever and so yes I will definitely, definitely marry you."

"Really?" Syed was still looking shy but a smile was beginning to spread itself across his face. "I mean, really you will? Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured."

"Oh shut up you, of course I'm sure! My heart is pounding so much right now, you wouldn't believe, I love you, I'm turned inside out by you, I can't believe you just asked me!" At that Syed released Christian's hands and grabbed his face instead, pulling his lips towards his.

"Oh, God, I love you. I really really do! You are just so bloody perfect and gorgeous and wonderful. And I'm sorry to ask again, but do you mean it? Are you sure?"

Christian looked at his beautiful boy and, holding his face in his hands, he leant forward and kissed him with all the love and tenderness that was in his heart. When at last he drew back he said a little breathlessly "Yes, I mean it. Don't ever, ever doubt it." They rested their foreheads together, their legs and hands now entwined. "You know I went all the way to the shop worrying that you were trying to get rid of me. I was convinced that things had been so blissful that the only way from here was down! And when you started speaking my heart just stopped. I thought that was it, you were fed up with me"

"How could you think that? I would never be fed up with you! Oh, but it does remind me" and Syed reached over to the floor on the far side of the bed. Suddenly the bedside lights went out and after some shuffling around Christian could make out Syed as he went round the room lighting the candles he seemed to have placed all around the room. Then, after the click of a plug being switched on, he saw that the white Christmas fairy lights, now lit, were laid on the step all round the bed creating their own little magical, sparkling nest of light as the rain continued to fall outside. Syed then climbed back onto the bed holding a bottle of Champaign and a glass which he poured out and handed to Christian. Then he reached over the picked up his glass of orange juice and sat cross legged, his knees touching Christian's. "This isn't too much is it?" He asked uncertainly. "I wanted to make it special. The Champaign has been under the bed for days. I put it in the freezer earlier to chill it before but you were taking so long to go out I thought it might explode in there... Isn't that what happens when you leave it too long?"

"Is this what you were doing while I was out? Why didn't you have all these lights on when I got back?"

"I was worried about if you said no. I didn't want to spoil how things have been between us, I could just about cope with you saying no as long as we still were together and things were the same. But if I did all this, you would feel so bad, and I would feel like I had ruined things. It would be awful if we were sitting here like this and you had just said no."

"Yes seeing all this I might not have believed you when you said it was no big deal. This looks like a big deal," said Christian as he reached forward and stroked Syed's face.

Syed, with his eyes burning into Christian's, said "I'm sorry but yes, it is a big deal." Christian's heart raced yet again as he reached over and put down their glasses which, like everything else, could wait until later and pulled his gorgeous boy into his arms.


End file.
